The Best of the Sedins, 2010-11 (10-6)

PITB's first post ever was a top 5 countdown of the best Sedin goals of last season, posted exactly a year ago today. We thought, in honour of our first birthday, and the fact that the Sedins are totally balls, it was time to return to our roots. What are blogs for if not for lists?

Unlike last year, there is no de facto number one, but there are about fifteen plays worthy of a spot in the top five. As a result, we've doubled the list, and will now be counting down the top ten Sedin plays of 2010-11. Be warned: this list is highly subjective. Last week's post, in which we shared 12 wizardous candidates, proved consensus on this issue to be impossible. As a result, we just decided to go with our gut, and I can safely say that my gut's never steered me wrong (apart from the time it asked for a bacon sundae).

Anyway. Here are plays 10 - 6. Check back here at 4pm sharp for the final five.

-----------------------------

10 December 23, vs the Columbus Blue Jackets
A lot of people fail to realize that Daniel Sedin is a power forward who loves to comes out from behind with a guy draped all over him. Here, we see him actually draw the defender, wait for contact, then make an incredible back pass right into the slot for Henrik. Commentator John Garrett simply exhales. I imagine his sentiments are echoed by most of Ohio.

9 December 28, vs the Philadelphia Flyers
This is actually a give-and-go between Alex Burrows and Daniel Sedin, but it still counts as Sedinery. Burr gets a pass because he spends a lot of time under Sedin tutelage. His patience is impressive here, as is Kimmo Timonen's draw to the button.

8 January 07, vs the Edmonton Oilers
This ludicrous lob play was utilized the Sedins to start a number of breakouts, but this is the prettiest finish. After Burrows lofts it over two zones, the twins go in two-on-one. Theo Peckham's job, in this situation, is to take away the pass, but the Sedins still manage to make two. Henrik's saucer pass is absolutely perfect, as is Daniel's backhand deke for the goal.

7 April 09, vs the Calgary Flames
The most recent goal on our list comes on a partial breakaway. Think about that when you watch it happen. Rather than streak to the net, Daniel curls away, then makes a ridiculous backpass to Henrik that splits three Calgary defenders. Henrik then makes a beautiful one-touch pass to Ryan Kesler, who finishes the play by one-timing the puck.

6 December 31, vs the Dallas Stars
This is one of the finest executed powerplays you'll ever see. Daniel and Henrik break down the Stars' box like it's the day after Christmas, first with an obscenely high tape-to-tape saucer pass, then a back pass to Alex Edler. Before the Stars realize they've shifted about a foot from the center of the ice, Edler finds Henrik, who pots a one-timer from a difficult angle. it's so fluid it's ridiculous.

-----------------------------

10 - 6
5 - 1

Top 5 Canuck Hipchecks of 2010-11

Some say the hipcheck is a lost art in the NHL, but you'd be hard pressed to find a Vancouver fan that feels this way. The offseason additions of Keith Ballard and Dan Hamhuis, two defenders that love to hip check, made going wide versus the Canucks a downright dicey proposition. Eventually, even Aaron Rome fell in love with the hit, giving the Canucks three guys who could surprise with a hipcheck at seemingly any moment. The result: perhaps the only team in the NHL for whom the hipcheck was common.

I'm not sure Canucks fans realized how spoiled they were this season. With that in mind, PITB has compiled a countdown of the five finest hipchecks thrown by the boys in blue and green in the 2010-11:

5 Keith Ballard on Viktor Stalberg

This is a perfectly timed hit, as Ballard comes across the defensive zone to meet Stalberg at the exact moment he reaches the puck. Stalberg is likely expecting a simply bodycheck, but Ballard turns and throws the hip into him instead, absolutely stapling him to the boards.

4 Aaron Rome on Ladislav Smid

Rome didn't hipcheck much last season, but Hamhuis and Ballard have clearly inspired him. This is his best of many thrown hips, as he steps into Smid and earns extra points on the follow through.

3 Keith Ballard on Evgeni Malkin

This is a monster hip check on a monster guy. It's also a beautiful defensive play. Malkin's beaten a lot of d-men one on one with his size and speed, but Ballard recovers quickly to take away his lane, then takes the big Penguins center to the corner with a completely unexpected hit.

2 Dan Hamhuis on Douglas Murray

My goodness, this is a beautiful hit. Hamhuis times this perfectly, leading Murray to the boards with his body position, and then sending him ass over teakettle the moment he reaches the glass.

1 Keith Ballard on Drew Miller

The finest hipcheck of the year comes when Keith Ballard steps into Drew Miller. It's similar to the one Ballard put on Malkin, but this one is downright obscene. Miller goes flying, and the look on his face when he gets up is priceless. He has no idea what just happened.

- - - - - - - - - - Bonus Hipchecks! - - - - - - - - - -

If those five stellar hipchecks aren't enough for you, or if maybe you thought I was kidding when I said the hit was common in Vancouver, here are ten more.

• Keith Ballard on Niclas Wallin
• Keith Ballard on Carlo Colaiacovo
• Keith Ballard on Ales Hemsky
• Keith Ballard on Tomas Kopecky
• Keith Ballard on David Krejci
• Dan Hamhuis on Jakub Voracek
• Dan Hamhuis on Tom Gilbert
• Aaron Rome on Sean Avery
• Aaron Rome on Antoine Vermette
• Aaron Rome on JF Jacques

20 Reasons Daniel Sedin Is Bad at Penalty Shots

"I suck at this."

With Daniel Sedin's failed penalty shot attempt Friday, the NHL scoring leader is now 0-for-4 in his career on penalty shots, and it's never really been close. He's bad at it. He's so bad at it that Alain Vigneault used this most recent non-goal as an example of why Daniel never gets a chance in the shootout. It's a strange anomaly, really, especially considering that Daniel Sedin is a pretty fabulous scorer. Furthermore, he's in possession of one of the NHL's most accurate shots. You'd think he'd be money in these situations, but it would seem penalty shots and shootouts just aren't particularly suited for his game. Here are 20 possible explanations:

1. Every time he leaves a drop pass for Henrik, the referee stops play.
   
   
2. You're not allowed to go back and start again if the shooting lane isn't just right.
   
   
3. It's way easier to score when you have to knock the puck out of mid-air while simultaneously getting crosschecked in the back by two guys.
   
   
4. It's really bizarre not having your identical twin brother who plays on the same team as you on the ice with you at all times. Yep, that's what's bizarre.
   
   
5. In Sweden, instead of penalty shots, the shooter and the goaltender race to see who can build a cheap bookshelf the fastest.
   
   
6. Without being able to see the back of Henrik's jersey, Daniel can't tell which one he is, and forgets he's the goal scorer.
   
   
7. With Alex Burrows seated on the bench instead of splayed across the crease, Daniel is always taken aback by the fact that the net has a goaltender.
   
   
8. The league won't let him tape a poster of Henrik to the glass behind the goal as a reference point.
   
   
9. It's hard to put much mustard on a one-timer from centre ice.
   
   
10. Right before he goes to shoot, Henrik pulls him aside and says, Last year, when I won the Hart, I scored on a penalty shot. Did you know that the H on the back of my jersey stands for Hart? Anyway, don't blow it.
    
    
11. He's never gotten a chance against Miikka Kiprusoff.
    
    
    
12. Every time he sets up shop behind the net, the referee stops play.
    
    
13. Typically, Daniel just mimics what Henrik does, but after thirty seconds of sitting at the bench giving his brother a puzzled look, the referee just declares it a save.
    
    
14. On penalty shots, you're not allowed to jam the puck in on the rebound. If you've ever seen Daniel Sedin play hockey, this one's not much of a mystery.
    
    
15. If Henrik doesn't get his assist, it gets the hose.
    
    
16. He's so used to looking for his brother and so disoriented from all the open area, he keeps accidentally passing to his reflection in the ice.
    
    
17. Once he gains the blue line, he stops and waits for Henrik. But Henrik never shows up. Daniel's really worried about him, actually.
    
    
18. The Sedins' creepy wizard powers are enhanced by their proximity to one another. With every stride away from the bench, Daniel becomes weaker.
    
    
19. Henrik says goals you score in a penalty shots don't count towards your season totals.
    
    
20. He wanted the powerplay.

The 10 Best Items in the Dice & Ice Auction Catalogue

The Canucks Dice & Ice Benefit is a fabulous annual charity event that raises money for the Canucks For Kids Fund in support of Canuck Place Children's Hospice and BC Children's Hospital. We've never been, and until we have enough money to pay rent and still have some money left in our bank accounts, it's likely we won't be in attendance.

However, because PITB is a worldwide movement now, we have spies everywhere. We have managed to get ahold of the night's silent auction catalog. Thank you to our secret benefactor, who may or may not be Batman.

Suffice it to say, there's some sweet stuff in there, including a bevy of autographed jerseys by your favourite Canucks. No autographed Jannik Hansen jersey, though. To sign your name, you need hands, amirite? Ha ha, zing.

Anyway, as commoners, we understand the plight of those like us, who want to know about the neat stuff up for auction, but aren't on that particular mailing list. So, for the plebeian, we've compiled a short list of the coolest stuff the Canucks have put up for bid. Here are the ten best items in the Dice & Ice Auction Catalog:

Private Practice with Daniel & Henrik Sedin
A once in a lifetime opportunity to have Canucks Alternate Captain Daniel Sedin and Captain Henrik Sedin coach your BC minor hockey league team for a practice. This prize is open to minor hockey players 16 years old and younger and includes the opportunity to watch a private Canucks practice at
Rogers Arena followed by your one hour session on-ice with Daniel and Henrik Sedin running drills for your youth team.

Kindly Donated By: Daniel & Henrik Sedin
Value: Priceless

Okay kids, let's work on our saucer passes. You start here, at your own goal line. Your teammate will skate the length of the ice. Hit him with the pass just as he reaches the blue line. Whoops, you fell down. Whoops, so did he. Let's move on. Okay kids, let's work on our positioning. Put your back to the defender. Now, he's going to crosscheck you in the back as hard as he possibly can. Here's a tip: really choke up on the stick so he can get the full effect of your crosscheck. Now, whatever you do, don't lose the puck.

Be A Part of the Team Photo
Take part in this once in a lifetime opportunity to be in the Canucks Team Photo at the end of the 2010.11 season. This opportunity is available for one person and includes one 8x10 copy of the team photo and a replica jersey to wear in the photograph.

Kindly Donated By: Vancouver Canucks
Value: Priceless

"Who's the creepy guy in the corner?" "That's Raffi Torres." "Who's the goofy-looking one?" "Still Torres." "No, next to him." "Oh. I have no idea."

One Hour Co-Host Spot on 100.5 The Peak
Let your voice be heard with a one hour co-host opportunity on 100.5 The Peak! The Peak is one of Vancouver’s newest radio stations and features adult alternative music intensive radio station that has a huge emphasis on new and emerging artists with a secondary focus on alternative music from the 80’s & 90’s. It’s the only place you’ll hear the hottest rock, acoustic, folk, and much more, all on one station – setting a new standard for great music in Vancouver.

Kindly Donated By: 100.5 The Peak
Value: Priceless

What is this crap? This sounds like it was recorded in a garage! I'm sick of your artsy-fartsy college kid music! I paid big money for this co-hosting gig, and I say we play The Everly Brothers!

Autographed Script from “Two and a Half Men’’
Own an autographed script from the Golden Globe nominated television show Two and a Half Men. “The Mooch at the Boo’’ script is signed by Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones.

Kindly Donated By: Macklam/Feldman
Value: Priceless

Now you can join the ever-growing list of people to have Charlie Sheen's DNA somewhere in your home.

Roberto Luongo Game Used & Autographed Stick
This game used Reebok goalie stick has been autographed by Roberto Luongo.

Kindly Donated By: Vancouver Canucks
Value: Priceless

Not sure why Luongo still had this stick, considering he was named the game's first star that night. And why does the signature say, "To Brad Ziemer, get bent?"

Kesler Family Men’s RK17 Clothing Basket
This basket features the best men’s clothing from Ryan Kesler’s new clothing line, RK17. Some of the highlights include a men’s jacket, underwear and boxer briefs, baseball hat, long and short sleeve T’s, polo shirt, bowling shirt, hoodie, the Canucks 2010.11 Official Team Year Book, an autographed 8x10 action shot of Ryan Kesler, and much more!

Kindly Donated By: Ryan and Andrea Kesler
Value: $750

10 to 1 that 8x10 action shot looks a lot like this action shot. Oh look, he signed his nipples.

Samuelsson Family Coffee Basket
The Samuelssons want you to stay caffeinated with this sleek Nespresso CITIZ coffee maker with important accessory, the Nespresso Aeroccino (both in silver). Created to please both coffee drinkers and lovers of modern design, the CITIZ coffee maker represents the union of functionality and ‘’retromodern’’ design and caters to all coffee preferences. The accompanying Aeroccino is a new, automatic and amazingly simple way of creating light, creamy milk froth. Just pour in some cold, fresh milk and press the button for exceptional quality milk froth.

Kindly Donated By: Mikael and Sandra Samuelsson
Value: $375

Sometimes Mikael Samuelsson seems on edge, don't you agree? We may finally have our explanation. Look at this gift basket. This ain't some sissy coffee package. This is the package of a full-blown addict. Ten minutes after you win this, Samuelsson's going to run up to you, shouting obscenities, scratching his neck, and tearfully demanding it back.

Hamhuis Family Fitness Basket
This basket contains a variety of fitness goodies from Twist Conditioning, including a gift certificate for three one-on-one 60 minutes training sessions, a Smart Training DVD, Twist Conditioning Smart Toner exercise bands (med and heavy resistance), a Twist Conditioning sling shot, a Suspension Training Pro-pack (containing TRX suspension trainer model p2, a compact mesh carry bag, a 65 min intro to suspension training DVD, and a durable quick start and workout guide), an exercise ball, and a Dan Hamhuis autographed Canucks jersey.

Kindly Donated By: Dan and Sarah Hamhuis
Value: Priceless

Here's the shocker of the evening: Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis gives you the gift of self-improvement. He originally wanted to give you everything you'd need to rappel into an oppressed mountainside village in the Himalayas and free all the slave kids, but the Canucks said no. By the way, that jersey is a size small. If you really work at it, eventually it'll fit you, and you'll be so proud of yourself when it does.

Glass Family Board Game Night Basket
Get the family away from the TV and have some fun with this collection of board games and snacks! This basket of fun contains Canada Monopoly, Life, Jenga, Catch Phrase, Scrabble, Mouse Trap, Set, Uno, Playing Cards, Scrabble, Cards, Bottle of Wine, Sparkling Cider, Organic Popcorn, Butter Marshmallow Squares and Carmel Almond Pecans.

Kindly Donated By: Tanner Glass and Emily Tracy
Total Value: $300

Emily, I'm sick and tired of people thinking I'm just some guy who plays Scrabble. I wish there was a way to let the world know I play more board games than that.

Ehrhoff Family Night Out With Christian Basket
Enjoy a Saturday night out for two with Canucks star defenceman Christian Ehrhoff! On February 26, you will be picked up at your home in Vancouver/Burnaby/North Shore by a McLean’s Restaurant chauffeur. After dinner at McLean’s ($150 gift certificate), you’ll be driven to Rogers Arena to watch the Canucks take on the Bruins from your lower bowl seats. After the game, you’ll be driven back to McLean’s to enjoy post-game dessert and drinks with Christian Ehrhoff! When your visit with Christian is over, you’ll be driven home and will take two autographed Christian Ehrhoff t-shirts with you as your souvenir for the evening.

Kindly Donated By: Christian and Farina Ehrhoff
Total Value: Priceless

Dessert is on you, by the way. After games, Christian likes to eat kaiserschmarrn with applesauce. He'll be very upset if he doesn't get his kaiserschmarrn with applesauce. No kaiserschmarrn with applesauce, no Christian. Whatever you do, do not forget the applesauce. And go easy on the salt. He's a flail snail.


But seriously, we hope the event is a raging success and that the Canucks raise a ton of money for those kids.

More of Cody Hodgson's Dark Times, With Hilarious Submissions By Readers Not Unlike You

If you're new to Cody Hodgson's dark times, I recommend you go back and read the original post that led to this one. If, however, you're averse to doing research just to get a pretty lame joke, here's a short primer: in an intermission segment about Cody Hodgson's injury troubles, the narration included the hyperbolic statement "The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson." Skeeter and I started riffing on the phrase and its potential responses. Soon, a PITB-only meme was born. Here are a few original examples:

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: It was a good pass, too. Tape-to-tape. I had the whole net to shoot at.
  

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I cast magic missile at the darkness. It didn't work very well.

As you can see, the joke has myriad possibilities, and the Bulie response to this joke was maybe (read: definitely) funnier than the original post. After the jump, proof that we have awesome readers:

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: That tanning bed was the worst prank Keith Ballard ever pulled on me, but now I'm okay.
  ---Qris Johnson

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I'm still getting used to indoor plumbing and microwave ovens.
  ---Aixtek

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I look back on my time as a scientologist not as something to learn from but something to never ever tell anyone about ever.
  ---Qris Johnson
  

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: The dark times are beginning for Narrator...
  ---Van City slicker
  

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: My dark times were nothin' compared to Joan d'Arc times. Seriously, dude, talk to Glass about that. He majored in history.
  ---Anonymous

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson
  Hodgson: Yeah I realize now Wish You Were Here is a more solid album start to finish.
  ---Section 312

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Destroying the ring was tough, but it simply had to be done. I admit, I'll miss the power of invisibility...
  ---Captain Morgan

I'm kind of ashamed at how long it took for me to get that this was a Temple of Doom reference.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: The evil start in Pankot. Then like monsoon, it moves darkness over all country.
  ---Michael

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: At first I was discouraged by the diagnosis, but the doctors assured me that if Michael Jackson could live with Vitiligo so could I.
  ---Jason

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: What can I say? All that was left from the turkey was white meat.
  ---Anonymous
  

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson
  Hodgson: Actually, the dark times just start later in Vancouver, what with time zones and all. I'm expecting them to return in say three hours-ish.
  ---Anonymous

I love the sudden aggression in this one.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I got your dark times right here.
  ---FanZone2010
  

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Groundhogs everywhere are predicting an early Spring.
  ---A Wellwood

I hate when this happens.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Oh thank God, I thought rehab would never end. *gets attacked by feral cats*
  ---Captain Morgan

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: You can read all my experiences in my upcoming memoir, Black Ice: How I Was Drafted by the Atlanta Thrashers.
  ---Michael

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson
  Hodgson: The power came back on.
  ---By-Tor

I'm assuming the old drama teacher was fired, with just cause.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Our new drama teacher isn't allowed to make us wear blackface.
  ---Qris Johnson

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Admittedly, it's weird to name a kidney stone, but I had grown rather attached to it.
  ---Jason

This one explains a lot.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: My injury addiction is behind me for good now.
  ---Ryan

This one needs explaining.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I must correct you, my friend. Believe me, it is still there, you just cannot see it as it is utterly transparent and ultimately, undetectable. It is, in fact a huge part of what makes up Cody Hodgson as well as everyone any everything around us
  ---ricardinho
  

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Yeah I was real freaked out but Ballard says it's just a solar eclipse.
  ---beninvictoria

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson
  Hodgson: We just had to slingshot round that side of the moon to get enough momentum. Was pretty freaky being out of communication though.
  ---PeeCeeGee

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Yeah, Coach said that was just a practice jersey.
  ---beninvictoria

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: It took me until my second game, but I finally scored an NHL goal.
  ---By-Tor

Wherever there's a special moment for a young person, one man can be found.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Well I real-
  Kanye: Yo Hodgson, Imma let chu finish but Donnie Darko had some of the darkest times of all time. OF ALL TIME!
  ---Reece

And finally, when you have a joke with such a tight structure, someone is going to defy every ounce of it. Here's JTam with the most elaborate entry ever.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: The dark times were rough, but it had to be done. Remember our conversation two years ago?
  
  ________________________________________
  
  
  Narrator: The haters won. Luongo's Captaincy, everything he fought for - undone. Any chance you gave us at fixing our team dies with Luongo's reputation. We bet it all on him. The haters took the best of us and tore him down. People will lose hope.
  Hodgson: They won't. They must never know what he did.
  Narrator: 7 goals! You can't sweep that up!
  Hodgson: No. But the haters cannot win. Vancouver needs its true hero.
  Narrator: No!
  Hodgson: "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." I can do those things because I'm not in the NHL, not like Luongo. I have a bad back! That's what I can be.
  Narrator: No, no! You can't, your back!
  Hodgson: I'm whatever Vancouver needs me to be. Call it in.
  Narrator: They'll hunt you.
  Hodgson: You'll hunt me. You'll condemn me, set the fans on me. Because that's what needs to happen. Because sometimes... our play isn't good enough. Sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.
  Young Canucks Fan: Hodgson? Hodgson! Why is he running, Narrator?
  Narrator: Because we have to make ridiculous stories about him and his injury.
  Young Canucks Fan: He didn't do anything wrong.
  Narrator: Because he's the NHLer Vancouver deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian. A watchful protector. A Dark Prospect.
  
  
  ________________________________________
  
  
  Narrator: So, uh, how's your back?
  Hodgson: Not cool.
  ---JTam
  

Well, that was fun. Feel free to keep this joke alive in the comments. We will gladly do another of these posts in the future.

The Dark Times Have Passed For Cody Hodgson

In case you just awoke from a hockey coma, you've probably heard that Cody Hodgson, prized prospect of the Vancouver Canucks, played his first NHL game yesterday. It's been a long time coming for Hodgson, who has overcome a boatload of misinformation, intrusive media coverage, rampant speculation and injury troubles just to get here. But now he's here, and we rejoice, not just because of what he had to go through, but because the hyperbole and panic surrounding Cody should subside.

During last night's game, Hodgson was featured in an intermission segment about his first NHL game which used the phrase, "The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson," before making a cut to Hodgson for an uninteresting quote about injuries. I don't even recall what he said--I just remember thinking that Hodgson's follow-up sentence could have gone in so many better ways. Somehow, I expect a phrase like the dark times have passed to be followed up with a story about how someone overcame full-on vampirism. Imagine this exchange:

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I used to be a vampire.

Now that's some badass journalism right there. But that's just me. From where I'm sitting, it could have gone in so many better directions. After the jump, we envision the myriad possible responses to this open-ended lead-in:

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I'm really more into milk chocolate now.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: When I woke up this morning, the sun had come out again.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I blinked. My eyes were closed for a millisecond. How is this a story?

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Well, they're actually called the Middle Ages, but I did just get back from some wacky time travel adventures. Glad those are done.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Yeah, I prefer a mild roast now.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: They're transition lenses. The tint comes back when I go outside. How have you never heard of these before?

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Nights when there's no moon are a bit tough on me because I'm a reverse-werewolf.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Okay, I know my girlfriend was black, but frankly, I think that's kind of a racist way to describe the end of the relationship.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: After the high stick, both of my eyes were swollen shut, but the swelling has gone down, so I'm finally able to see again.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: As a Kryptonian, I derive power from earth's yellow sun. Nighttime is a time of weakness.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Dark City is a weird place. The only thing to eat is their local newspaper, and it's difficult to digest.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: After I broke open the piñata, they removed the blindfold.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I found the light switch on the far wall, but only after banging my shin something fierce on the coffee table. Stung like crazy.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I teamed up with The Canuck and his sidekick The Moose to defeat the NHL Guardian's evil nemesis, Devin Dark. It was pretty cool, I guess.

20 More Things Overheard at the NHL War Room

I know, I know. I did this joke yesterday. Cut me some slack. I can't even fully explain how much fun these are to come up with. You should try it. Tweet us @passittobulis, with the hashtag #NHLWarRoomQuotes. Here are twenty more things overheard at the NHL War Room:

1. "Okay, Mr. VanMassenhoven. Pick a number, then a colour, then a number."
   
2. "A lot of people said I was crazy to hire an all-blind team, but look at us now. Oh right, you can't."
   
3. "It's hard to make out... can we zoom in? Why did we pick such a dirty coin? I can't read heads or tails. Inconclusive."
   
4. "I'm torn. Both teams are from Canada, but we have to rule in favour of one of them."
   
5. "Wait, zoom in. Is that a tattoo?"
   
6. "I can't see it on camera, but I was just reading about object permanence. Did you know it has to be somewhere?"
   
7. "If you listen closely, you can hear him thinking about blowing the whistle just before the puck goes in."
   
8. "Hey, this is alfredo sauce! I said pomodoro sauce! This is the last time we order Italian. Rule against Luongo."
   
9. "Bad news, guys. We've all gotta stay late--I just found out the Canucks play tonight. Hey! Relax. Your beef is with Vancouver, not me."
   
10. "I don't think that should count. The goalie couldn't see it."
    
11. "Good news, guys! The NHL has asked us to pick the musical act for the All-Star Game. Let's put our heads together and see if we can't come up with something everyone will like."
    
12. "Okay, I was just looking through yesterday's logs, and it says here that someone ruled in favour of Buffalo. What the Hell! We've talked about this!"
    
13. "This clip is boring. Change it to Two and a Half Men."
    
14. "Did anyone else see Double Moustache Man?"
    
15. "That's a clean hit. The head is part of the shoulder, right?"
    
16. "I'm so sick of the officials calling us. Do we have to hold their hand through everything?"
    
17. "Hey, switch to the net cam. Ha ha, look how big his ass looks."
    
18. "The puck is black, right?"
    
19. "Tell them we couldn't see the puck so the call on the ice stands. Gosh, this will be a lot easier when the power comes back on."
    
20. "Get the Braille rule book."
    

20 Things Overheard in the NHL War Room

Last night's contentious decision from the NHL War Room--in which they defied their own precedent and overruled an on-ice no-goal call despite inconclusive evidence--was just another bit of proof that Colin Campbell and his crack squad of AV geeks have literally no idea what they're doing. And, in case you weren't convinced, PITB's recently-dispatched War Room spy has returned, reporting twenty of the most remarkable #NHLWarRoomQuotes he's heard:

1. "Vancouver's on the phone. Don't they know what time it is?"
   
2. "How did we do it last time?"
   
3. "What does 'distinct' mean, anyway? There's literally no way of knowing."
   
4. "Man, that's a tough call. Unplug the phone."
   
5. "I think it's a touchdown."
   
6. "I told them, I don't know much about hockey, but I was Dan Hartman's synth player, so I've got a lot of experience with Instant Replay."
   
7. "Crap, I think Canada's on to us."
   
8. He knocked it down with a high stick and then he kicked it in, but it's Gregory, so count it.
   
9. "What part of 'inconclusive' don't you understand? I said I'm on break."
   
10. "I can't decide. Load the mousetraps and get the mouse."
    
11. "Is that the rule? Somebody Google it."
    
12. "Did you know I interviewed for their vacant general manager position? I didn't get it. Anyway, no goal."
    
13. "I can't see it--the crossbar's in the way. Oh wait, it's just a Twizzler on the monitor again."


14. "FSN Pittsburgh has another angle, but they said it would take four to six weeks for delivery."
    
15. "Zoom in. Now increase the pixels."
    
16. "Let's just say 'he intended to blow the whistle'. Then amend the rule before people start snooping around. Unplug the phone."
    
17. "He's faking it. That's fake blood."
    
18. "Call it a goal. Nobody's watching anyway."
    
19. "Bwa ha ha, screw the Sabres."
    
20. "Guys, we suck at this."

The Top 50 Canuck Goals of 2010 (10-01)

And here we are. We've had a fun run, wouldn't you say? We've got 40 goals down and 10 to go in our list of the best Canuck goals of 2010. We're sure you know how this list ends, and we hope you've enjoyed getting there with us, but there are still some surprises in store.

If you're late to this countdown, we recommend you start at the beginning with numbers 50-31.

We at PITB are confident that some of the top ten Canuck goals of 2010 will be obvious choices, some will come as surprises, and some are likely to have been forgotten until right now. So, without further ado, we end our list. After the jump, the 10 best Canuck tallies of the year that was 2010.


10 Henrik Sedin (January 25, 2010)

The 10th best goal of 2010 comes on an incredible breakaway move from Henrik Sedin, as he makes like he's going to the backhand, then puts on the brakes and drags the puck back the other way.

09 Henrik Sedin (April 21, 2010)
Henrik's game-winning playoff goal comes on a fabulous end to end rush by the eldest twin. His stickwork and his skating are top-notch here, and his reaction after scoring the goal--pure, delirious excitement--was priceless. A classic Henrik moment.

08 Daniel Sedin (March 30, 2010)

In one of the finest pieces of wizardous sedinerie of 2010, Alex Burrows gets the puck to Henrik, who swivels for a backpass to his brother. The pass is so perfect and perfectly unexpected that it beats Brzygalov all on its own, and Daniel only needs to slightly graze it in order to redirect it home.

07 Alex Edler (March 07, 2010)

You might not agree with how high this goal is ranked, but Pavol Demitra's soccer kick around the boards is one of the coolest things I've ever seen. After losing his stick in a board battle with Grebeshkov, Demitra just boots the puck as hard as he can. Incredibly, it rings all the way around to Ryan Kesler, who centers to Alex Edler for the tally.

06 Alex Burrows (March 24, 2010)
Number six is similar to number eight, as well as a few others on this list, but I'm giving top marks for aesthetics. This one is executed by Henrik and Daniel so perfectly that Burrows literally has a wide open net; Hiller is no longer in it.

05 Christian Ehrhoff (January 21, 2010)
The 5th best goal of 2010 comes on a fabulous rush through the middle from Christian Ehrhoff. The Sedins pulled off this play a few times in 2010; Ehrhoff's is special because of the speed he comes in with, and for how he kicks the puck to his stick like another great Canuck might have done.

04 Mikael Samuelsson (April 15, 2010)
Mikael Samuelsson scores a big playoff goal here after a Daniel Sedin feed during a goalmouth scramble. The incredible thing about the feed is that it's a kick--Daniel puts the puck right on Sammy's stick with a no-look backheel. Even without hockey sticks, the Sedins pass the puck better than I could ever hope to.




03 Daniel Sedin (January 9, 2010)
Who, on a breakaway, is ever thinking of passing the puck? Only Henrik Sedin, who fools everyone when he cuts across the Kipper's crease, then unexpectedly drops the puck to Daniel for a tap-in.

02 Brad Lukowich (January 25, 2010)

This is almost identical to the goal Christian Ehrhoff scores at number five, except that it's Brad Lukowich, of all people. Daniel's stickwork as he cuts across the zone before making the drop is incredible, and Lukowich's reaction to the score is one of the great goal celebrations of 2010.

01 Daniel Sedin (April 10, 2010)

What more can be said about this goal? Lots, hopefully. On the final game of the season, with an Art Ross trophy hanging in the balance, the Sedins scored one of the most beautiful goals you'll ever see. Nothing I've seen comes close to this. The Score had it listed as the second best sports play of 2010, and I thought even that was about twelve spots too low. This is a once-in-a-lifetime goal from once-in-a-lifetime players. It's the goal of the year, the goal of the decade, and maybe the finest goal ever scored in a Canucks uniform. It's that good.

50-31 - - - - - - - - - - 30-11 - - - - - - - - - - 10-01

The Top 50 Canuck Goals of 2010 (30-11)

The Canucks scored some dazzling goals in 2010, but it will be a brand new year in only a few short days. Who knows what the new year will hold? Now, I don't mean to hit the panic button but, as of this writing, the Canucks are scoreless in 2011. Seriously, don't panic.

While we cross our fingers and hope they can sort that out, PITB has compiled a list of the 50 best goals of the year that was, to ensure fans don't forget how this team spoiled us with their incredibly playmaking. Yesterday we gave you the back twenty of this massive list, and today we give twenty more. After the jump, numbers 30-11 on our list of the top 50 Canuck goals of 2010.


30 Ryan Kesler (March 03, 2010)
Kesler scored this beauty late last season on a strong individual effort. He goes to the net hard, outmuscling three Red Wings and burying it.

29 Alex Burrows (March 03, 2010)
Watch this one a few times. Brad Stuart has solid position on Alex Burrows to prevent him from getting to the net, but Burrows perfectly times his inside move, stepping in front of him and making a gorgeous tip for the goal.

28 Jannik Hansen (December 18, 2010)
A recent tally, Jannik Hansen finished a pretty passing play that begins with Jeff Tambellini beating Luke Schenn wide, and ends with Ryan Kesler stepping around a sprawling Francois Beauchemin to feeding the puck across to Hansen for the score.

27 Aaron Volpatti (December 20, 2010)
Aaron Volpatti's first NHL goal comes off a thunderous bodycheck on Alex Pietrangelo, delivered by Tanner Glass. After the puck pops free, Volpatti is smartly in position to accept the feed from Alex Bolduc.

26 Mason Raymond (December 01, 2010)
Mason Raymond's highest entry on this list comes on a fantastic breakaway move, as he outwaits Kiprusoff, dragging the puck across the crease and roofing a backhand.

25 Alex Burrows (December 12, 2010)
Burrows finishes yet another beautiful Sedin passing play, after Henrik spins, then fires a remarkable tape-to-tape cross-ice feed to his brother, who centers for Burr.

24 Daniel Sedin (November 24, 2010)
It's a testament to the Sedins' remarkable skill that their slap-pass, now so thoroughly perfected they can do it during a scramble at even-strength, falls this low on the list. We take daily these guys for granted.

23 Alex Burrows (January 16, 2010)

Burrows notches a shorthanded tally on his signature breakaway move, after tipping the puck away from Sergei Gonchar and taking off in a hurry.

22 Daniel Sedin (January 30, 2010)

Daniel scores the game-winner in Toronto after he and his brother take the puck end-to-end to cap off a remarkable comeback. It's incredible to me how little space they have, yet they make this look so easy.

21 Daniel Sedin (January 30, 2010)
The game-tying goal from the same game. Daniel receives a beautiful no-look feed from Alex Burrows and slides the puck into a wide-open net.

20 Alex Burrows (March 05, 2010)
Burrows' shot is incredible, but what really makes this play is Daniel's dive to receive this pass. Then, before Brent Seabrook can get to him, Daniel's up and the puck is in Alex Burrows' wheelhouse.

19 Kevin Bieksa (May 09, 2010 )
Kevin Bieksa finishes off a 2-on-1 with an nifty move, keeping the puck on his forehand and tucking it short side on Antii Niemi.

18 Henrik Sedin (December 23, 2010)
In a tight game, this might have been seen as one of the plays of the season, but in a blowout where everyone from the Columbus players to the broadcast team is already checking out, a remarkable play like this is met only with John Garrett's incredulous chuckle.

17 Alex Burrows (January 05, 2010)
Alex Burrows scores a hat-trick goal on a beautiful feed from Ryan Kesler. You have to admire how hard he skates to come out of his own zone with speed, and eventually to get to this puck at the side of the net.

16 Jeff Tambellini (December 22, 2010)
Tambellini's wrister is already a pretty big deal in Vancouver, and this is the best example of why: the space on the short side of Howard is miniscule, but Tamby finds it. It's especially impressive considering he received the pass on the backhand.

15 Kyle Wellwood (January 21, 2010)

The real star of this clip is Steve Bernier who, on the backhand and with one hand on the stick, tips the puck over the stick of his defender to send Wellwood in.

14 Raffi Torres (November 02, 2010)
Give Raffi an A for effort on this one, as he dives at the puck in order to get to it before Theo Peckham, and somehow manages to knock it home.

13 Rick Rypien (January 05, 2010)

I love this goal, because the draw weight on Kyle Wellwood's pass is so unique. He flips a little saucer pass well before Rypien arrives in the zone, but the puck is just sitting there waiting to be wired. Rypien makes no mistake, pouncing on the gift and sending it to the back of the net.

12 Kevin Bieksa (April 10, 2010)
Bieksa is the goal-scorer on this clip, but the real star if Eric Nystrom, who doesn't bother to check anyone. The Sedins look like geniuses here, and they are, but if Nystrom is in position, Bieksa isn't open.

11 Daniel Sedin (April 10, 2010)

Daniel Sedin does something we rarely see from him, as he takes the puck to the net hard, but make sure you also recognize the remarkable tape-to-tape saucer pass that Henrik throws his way to start the play.

50-31 - - - - - - - - - - 30-11 - - - - - - - - - - 10-01

The Top 50 Canuck Goals of 2010 (50-31)

As another year of hockey draws to a close, we at PITB thought this might be a good time to reflect on the wicked wristers, sizzling slapshots, pretty passes, and wizardous sedinerie we've seen from Canucks in the past calendar year. The 2009-10 season, the playoffs, the preseason, and the current season were all full of fabulous plays from former and current Canucks, and we'd be remiss if they were forgotten with little fanfare. Thanks to the remarkable contributions of CanucksHD, however, every one of these plays is sitting on the Youtubes, just waiting for somebody to compile them into a list.

This is that list. Over the next few days, we'll count down the 50 best goals from Canucks in 2010, from Aaron Volpatti's first NHL goal to a number one choice so obvious I'm tempted to end the list at number two. All Youtube videos are embedded so as to localize your time-wasting to this very blog. After the jump, goals 50 -31 of the best of 2010.


50 Jannik Hansen (September 21, 2010)
Jannik Hansen opens our list with the first goal of the preseason, way back in September. After buzzing around in the zone with linemate Jeff Tambellini, and being thwarted on a couple of pretty scoring plays, Hansen takes a beautiful no-look feed from Tamby and buries it short side.

49 Daniel Sedin (March 14, 2010)
The Sedins score so regularly on this exact 2-on-1 situation that it's surprising when the clip doesn't go that way. Instead, they maintain possession after a save, and after Henrik sets up behind the net, Daniel finds the puck on his stick in the slot.

48 Mario Bliznak (November 11, 2010)
Bliznak's first NHL goal was followed by little fanfare because it capped off a blowout win, but it's actually quite impressive, as he bats the puck out of mid-air to put it home.

47 Alex Burrows (November 24, 2010)
Alex Burrows caps off a Sedin scoring play off a turnover. The puck goes from Sedin to Sedin to Burrows in about half a second.

46 Mason Raymond (April 06, 2010)
Mason Raymond keeps the puck on a 2-on-1, wiring a laser of a wrist shot so hard he loses his footing getting it off.

45 Daniel Sedin (January 20, 2010)
Daniel scores an overtime game-winner with some beautiful puck movement on a 4-on-3 powerplay. You can actually pinpoint the moment the Oilers lose: it's when Henrik gets the puck along the wall.

44 Alex Burrows (January 20, 2010)
You'd be forgiven for confusing this clip with the one before it, as they're nearly identical. The Sedins' puck movement is incredible to watch.

43 Mikael Samuelsson (December 26, 2010)
Mikael Samuelsson scores on a seeing-eye feed from Raffi Torres. It's an incredible cross-ice pass, through traffic, and it lands right on Sammy's stick.

42 Manny Malhotra (November 06, 2010)
Manny Malhotra scores a shorthanded goal after some excellent blue line pressure causes Pavel Datsyuk to cough up the puck.

41 Kevin Bieksa (December 26, 2010)
In our most recent clip, Kevin Bieksa scores the game-winner in Edmonton after some excellent work from the Sedins down low. Henrik's play to hook the puck to Alex Burrows is as heady as they come.

40 Alex Burrows (January 7, 2010)
We could have done a top ten countdown of this exact play. After a Phoenix turnover behind their net, the puck is centered and fed across the crease before they know they've lost possession.

39 Alex Burrows (March 16, 2010)
Alex Burrows takes Henrik's no-look feed from behind the net and cuts across the crease with it. A lot of people say Burrows is just a tap-in artist, but this is a skilful move.

38 Mikael Samuelsson (January 25, 2010)
Samuelsson's individual effort here is beautiful, as he jukes out Henrik Tallinder with a couple head fakes before taking the puck to the backhand and shoveling it past Miller.

37 Mikael Samuelsson (April 23, 2010)
Samuelsson scores a big playoff goal as the capper on some wizardous sedinerie. He was incredible in the Los Angeles series, largely due to Henrik and Daniel getting him the puck with room to shoot.

36 Henrik Sedin (January 05, 2010)
Henrik and Daniel team up to score a pretty one on the Blue Jackets, but take a look at Alex Burrows' fantastic interference to give him room in the slot. Way to be a team player, Burr.

35 Sami Salo (January 20, 2010)
Salo is the beneficiary of some great puck movement that leaves him wide open in the slot for a game-tying goal late in the third period.

34 Pavol Demitra (April 08, 2010)
A common theme in this countdown are players finishing off incredible Sedin passing. Demitra's entry is no exception, as Henrik and Daniel do the bulk of the work off the far boards before Demitra roofs it.

33 Ryan Kesler (March 14, 2010)
Kesler scores a powerplay goal after some incredible puck control by Alex Burrows. First, he tries a backpass to the front of the net, and when it's blocked, he holds on, then cuts to the boards, drawing three defenders to him. Then it's another backpass to Kesler for the one-timer.

32 Willie Mitchell (January 16, 2010)
It's Willie Mitchell's turn to be gifted an open shot, as Henrik Sedin works the puck out from behind the net and throw him cross-ice feed. Note Alex Burrows' work screening the defender so the pass can get through.

31 Mikael Samuelsson (November 26, 2010)
Mikael Samuelsson keeps on a 2-on-1, and I love this goal because it takes major hockey smarts to pull it off. Sammy fakes a slapper, getting his defender to turn aside right at the moment Tanner Glass skates past Niemi for the screen.

50-31 - - - - - - - - - - 30-11 - - - - - - - - - - 10-01