The Dark Times Have Passed For Cody Hodgson

In case you just awoke from a hockey coma, you've probably heard that Cody Hodgson, prized prospect of the Vancouver Canucks, played his first NHL game yesterday. It's been a long time coming for Hodgson, who has overcome a boatload of misinformation, intrusive media coverage, rampant speculation and injury troubles just to get here. But now he's here, and we rejoice, not just because of what he had to go through, but because the hyperbole and panic surrounding Cody should subside.

During last night's game, Hodgson was featured in an intermission segment about his first NHL game which used the phrase, "The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson," before making a cut to Hodgson for an uninteresting quote about injuries. I don't even recall what he said--I just remember thinking that Hodgson's follow-up sentence could have gone in so many better ways. Somehow, I expect a phrase like the dark times have passed to be followed up with a story about how someone overcame full-on vampirism. Imagine this exchange:

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I used to be a vampire.

Now that's some badass journalism right there. But that's just me. From where I'm sitting, it could have gone in so many better directions. After the jump, we envision the myriad possible responses to this open-ended lead-in:

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I'm really more into milk chocolate now.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: When I woke up this morning, the sun had come out again.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I blinked. My eyes were closed for a millisecond. How is this a story?

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Well, they're actually called the Middle Ages, but I did just get back from some wacky time travel adventures. Glad those are done.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Yeah, I prefer a mild roast now.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: They're transition lenses. The tint comes back when I go outside. How have you never heard of these before?

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Nights when there's no moon are a bit tough on me because I'm a reverse-werewolf.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Okay, I know my girlfriend was black, but frankly, I think that's kind of a racist way to describe the end of the relationship.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: After the high stick, both of my eyes were swollen shut, but the swelling has gone down, so I'm finally able to see again.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: As a Kryptonian, I derive power from earth's yellow sun. Nighttime is a time of weakness.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Dark City is a weird place. The only thing to eat is their local newspaper, and it's difficult to digest.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: After I broke open the piñata, they removed the blindfold.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I found the light switch on the far wall, but only after banging my shin something fierce on the coffee table. Stung like crazy.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I teamed up with The Canuck and his sidekick The Moose to defeat the NHL Guardian's evil nemesis, Devin Dark. It was pretty cool, I guess.