Luddite

Here in this day of blogs and Twitters and feeds and flash drives (no idea what that has to do with anything but I kind of blew out all my web-speak early there), I would like to think that we can still rely on each other as humans to help each other out in our times of need. There's been a few nagging issues I have been dealing with recently and I hope someone, anyone can help me.

1. I can't use my Macbook. Seriously, user intuition my ass. I have had a Macbook for two months now. So far, I can look at the internet and play songs on iTunes. And I found the calculator. That's it. I don't understand it. Everyone tells me it's so simple and user friendly. Apparently all those years of non-user friendly PCs have rewired my brain to the point where I cannot compute very simple, basic things. I have DVDs that I burned on a PC. Now when I try to import the DVDs (.AVI files) to my computer, nothing. Try to watch them? Nothing. I don't know where anything goes once I download it. I have to keep some programs open because once I close them, they disappear and it takes me half an hour to find them. I did change the wallpaper. I can't even bookmark pages. I'm not this stupid, am I? I'm moderately computer literate. My Macbook makes me think that they made these laptops with rounded edges so I don't stick the corner of it into my eye accidentally. I'm down to using my Blackberry for all communications because the Macbook has won and I have surrendered and now it just sits there with a tiny throbbing white light that taunts me and reminds me about how it's smarter than me.

2. I want the Night Court theme song as my ringtone. I used to work for a company that made and sold ringtones (I've had a lot of jobs, folks) but now that I don't have that hookup, I am at a loss as to how to do something like make the theme from Night Court my default ringtone. I'm sure it's totally something you can do on a Macbook in two seconds. Unless you're as inept as me.

3. How do you get wireless internet service if you don't have a landline, cable or a wireless card from a cell provider? I think b***54 has caught onto me and turns his/her router off whenever it's not in use. I need the internet since Safari is the only Mac program I even remotely understand.

4. Does anyone know how well a Jailbroken/unlocked iPhone works on T-Mobile with their Blackberry unlimited data/3G plan? It will be a cold day in cell phone hell when I give AT&T another dime of my money. Provided I have the 2.1 or earlier software, is it true that I would have to re-unlock the phone after each update or each time I added an app?

Phew! That's enough for now. All this hunting and pecking that I have done to post this entry based on my crayon-on-construction paper notes has really worn me out. I'm going to go fire up my Model-T and call it a day.