Canucks Call Up Aaron Volpatti, Buy More Knuckle Tape

There are two possible reasons you may have never heard of the Volpatti Wagon:

1) Its namesake, Aaron Volpatti, was just called up to the NHL, for his first time, this morning.

2) The term originated here at PITB--and nobody reads PITB.

There's the news, though: The Canucks have called up Aaron Volpatti.

Volpatti will take the place of winger Jonas Andersson, the returned call-up that played well in his short time here, but didn't deliver enough of what the Canucks want out of their fourth-line wingers: hits that crush bones, followed by punches that crush the bones that came through the initial crushing uncrushed. That's sort of a good summary of Aaron Volpatti's skillset, too.

Volpatti is a bitter little bastard who hates that people stand upright, and takes it upon himself to stop them. He hits a lot. And, to complement his hitty nature, he is possessed by the spirit of pugilism. In 26 games with the Moose this year, he has as many points as he does fights (6). Fights like this one:

Canuck fans got their first glimpse of Aaron Volpatti in the YoungStars tournament, where he was a standout, perhaps aided by his seven-year head start on physical development. He carried his noticeable play through to the preseason, but didn't make the team out of training camp. Vancouver fans' most recent encounter with Volpatti would have come when the Moose visited Abbotsford, and Volpatti broke Heat forward Mitch Wahl's cheekbone with an open-ice hit that was clean, but kind of horrible. Yes, Volpatti is a master of horror. (I mean, he's no Dario Argento, but he's certainly better than Eli Roth.)

But, for all the reasons I'm excited, I'm also a bit nervous. The Canucks have done well this season to cut down on their penalties and antagonism of league officials. That ain't Aaron Volpatti's game; he could potentially be the team penalty minute leader by next Wednesday. Only time will tell if he can combine his gift for destruction with the gift of discipline.

If he can, he's got a really good chance to stick around. All aboard the Volpatti Wagon.