On the Lighter Side...

...could the Globe & Mail possibly have found a less flattering picture than the one topping this column by Matthew Sekeres? I sincerely doubt it.

Sedins Just Aren't Sexy

It's a good thing the Sedins are married, cause it seems they can't get any love.

Of course, they get love from their family, their team, and fans of their team, but talk to anyone who isn't an out and out Canuck fan and you'll get a very different picture of the dudes. Their reputation around the league? Two words: Sedin Sisters.

Even more recently, when they finished second and third in the league in points per game, they still get less respect than a Rodney Dangerfield impersonator. Henrik Sedin won the Art Ross and yet was an afterthought for Hart consideration for many hockey writers. He said himself that he was honored just to be standing on stage with Crosby and Ovechkin. Both Sedins are projected for less than 100 points next season in most fantasy guides, and the general consensus seems to be that last season was a fluke. Why can't the Sedins get any love?

For the same reason that reliable, intelligent, bespectacled accountants can't get any love -- they just aren't sexy.

Sidney Crosby is sexy in a Harrison Ford sort of way. Obviously he doesn't have the same chiseled-grit features that Ford has -- Angelina Jolie has spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to get lips like Crosby's. But Crosby seems to model his game off of Harrison Ford's characters. He's reckless, perfectly willing to rush alone into a group of defenders, and yet somehow, it pays off. Like Ford, he has a distinct whine that comes out when he feels threatened. Like Ford, he gets defensive when others threaten to be better than him. And like Ford, he looks ridiculous with facial hair.

Alex Ovechkin is a lot like Kanye West. Obviously, I'm not referring to his beautiful singing voice, but Ovechkin's celebrity has followed much the same path as Kanye's. While originally all we noticed about him was his talent, as soon as he found the spotlight he found ways to make it clear he was a star, but not a role model. Ovechkin plays physically, but also dangerously. During any game, he could score a goal, cause an injury, and earn a suspension -- soon to be called the Alex Ovechkin hat trick. And of course, we can't forget his celebrations. It's almost as if he wants to say, "I'm going to let you finish, but I'm the greatest player of all time."

Compared to that, what do the Sedins have? They aren't explosive. They aren't attention-hungry. They aren't arrogant. When it comes down to it, they're just not sexy. Crosby and Ovechkin are exciting, crazy and reckless. The Sedins are just consistent. You know when they're on the ice, they'll be defensively responsible, patient with the puck, and will find strategic opportunities to get a player a decent scoring chance. There isn't a coach in the NHL who wouldn't love them, but writers and fans are into more flash and dazzle than the Sedins can provide.

Even if the Sedins tie for the league lead in scoring, split the Hart and Pearson and hoist the Cup, they're still the mild-mannered reliable best friend, offering a crying shoulder to the girls dating the jealous, defensive egomaniac (Crosby) and the unpredictable playboy with a rap sheet (Ovechkin). The media likes them, sure, but more like a brother. The magic just isn't there.

So what does a team like the Canucks, faced with ridiculously reliable, safe and unsexy superstars, do to fill the void?

Hire ice girls. Other than that, I'm out of ideas.