“To succeed in your love life, you will need to kill the fear by changing your thinking, your emotions and your behaviour!” - Patrick DriessenBy Love Coach & Love Branding Expert Carolin Dahlman
Unhappy in your love life? Or is your love life a bit boring? When people seek help with their love issues, 9 times out of 10 a little demon in them called FEAR is one of the main causes... It comes in all kinds of colours and shapes, and is most times responsible for our negative feelings. Fear is also one of the biggest enemies of success in any kind of relationship!
So how to kick the demon out of your life and make you feel alive and sparkling again, so you can succeed in your relationships and love life?
It starts with analysing what the real causes are. Instead of being open and generous and creating an environment that love wants to be in, many let themselves be closed, scared and hard skinned. What is stopping them from having a massive amount of love in their life is FEAR.... When asked about the possible cause of this fear, many people say they have been hurt before, and that they don’t want to risk getting rejected. So instead they live like statues and are not moving forward.... Sounds familiar?
It starts with analysing what the real causes are. Instead of being open and generous and creating an environment that love wants to be in, many let themselves be closed, scared and hard skinned. What is stopping them from having a massive amount of love in their life is FEAR.... When asked about the possible cause of this fear, many people say they have been hurt before, and that they don’t want to risk getting rejected. So instead they live like statues and are not moving forward.... Sounds familiar?
Do you want to start moving, to feel great and welcome love with a smile? Let me help you a bit. Based on my experience as love coach, the following advice does not really work; “Face the fear!” or “Just do it anyway!”. Because for most of us STOPPING being scared and trying to forget our fear most often will give us a painful and uncomfortable feeling. It tells you to accept and embrace the pain, which does not sound very pleasant. Being a martyr does not really motivate to succeed.
Instead of just stopping your fear, just START with the following:
- Welcoming love
- Opening up for people
- Being brave and happy
- Being comfortable with change
- Loving the world
- Embracing new experiences
- Bringing out the crazy person within
- Acknowledging people and things you love.
When putting it like this, we let the light kill the darkness, instead of mocking around in the dark! You don’t have to even think of fear or give the demon more space. We purely focus on being the person who is open, loving and warm – who acts from the heart and think happy thoughts. That person is naturally brave and lives in all of us. It might be bullied and suppressed by the 'Fear Demon', but it’s our natural way of being.
Practice on being that person, and it will come out of its corner eventually and push the 'Fear Demon' away. The more you act, think and are that Loving person, the easier it gets. Our brains works just like any other muscle; the more you use it the bigger it gets, and the easier and smoother it is the next time.
The 'Fear Demon' tells you the world is a dangerous place and you are better of standing still, playing dead or be evil.... But you know in your heart, that LOVE is a greater source and that you feel better being your natural warm you!
The 'Fear Demon' tells you the world is a dangerous place and you are better of standing still, playing dead or be evil.... But you know in your heart, that LOVE is a greater source and that you feel better being your natural warm you!
To help you improve your love life even further, please follow my “Let LOVE In” Do-It-Yourself 1-week boot camp:
- Always try new things and ways, because it makes you in ease with change. Make sure you try at least 10 new things a day during the first week. Write your adventures down. Once you know you are capable of handling the new input without problems, you will feel proud of yourself.
- Be aware of your energy. When you live in a warm energy you will have that as a nice protection. See the beauty in everyone, including yourself. Feel the warmth move from you in smiles, compliments, gestures and actions. People will mirror you; if you are loving towards them they will be loving back (in most cases). During the boot camp it’s not allowed to whine, criticise or complain – not loud or within you! Every time your mind wants to nag, find a nice word to say. People react on what you think, so think LOVE!
- Write a wish lists and ask for help. We live in a world that is obsessed with individuality and self-help, and we have forgotten that the self needs help when its self-helping. Be humble and create an environment of people around you who will support you on your journey. Write down your wishes and go for it. The wishes need to be phrased positively. Avoid “I don’t want to be lonely” and write “I wish for true love”. This will make your actions sharper and less run by… The 'Fear Demon'… When you are avoiding something (rejection, pain) you will put all your energy into defence. When you want something (love, happiness) your actions will easily take you there.
You are a beautiful wonderful person who deserves to live in love! When you open up for love, it will rush in and out of you dancing around like a butterfly, tickling you, making you giggle and see life with joy! Success guaranteed!
“Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen!” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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