I have always wanted to be a jogger. There has always been a few problems with that, the top ones being that:
1. I'm a 32DDD
2. I can't jog
I like to ask people who are joggers how I become one of them. They all tell me the same thing. Start off slow. Make sure to warm up. Try walking and then jogging intermittently.
So I decided to dedicate myself to becoming a jogger a few months ago. I live on Katy Trail and it seems like such a waste to not be one of those annoying "active" types. Like those people who are so into working out that they wear their workout clothes to the grocery store.
After I had Texas A&M's engineering department draw up plans for a pier and beam structure that would somehow support my funbags, I was ready to go. Except that I'm pretty sure that I am doing jogging wrong. I have two bad knees from a childhood of dance and gymnastics and cheerleading. So I think that while everyone else looks like a real athlete getting a good cardiovascular workout, I look like I have one massive flat boob and old man knees. I think people can tell that I am bad at jogging.
But I stuck with it. I kind of started running further and further and got to the point I am at now which is making it from my house to Victory Park and back. And I have finally had a breakthrough:
Jogging blows.
I don't like wearing tennis shoes. I wear heels to the grocery store. Generally, I don't like sweating. I don't like the popping sounds I hear sometimes when I jog. I don't like being passed by old people on Katy Trail. I don't like the monolithic uniboob that happens when I wear jogging bra. I get creeped out by how runners travel in packs and then go to Starbucks afterward to talk about running. I don't like that I have to buy special gear like running socks and running shorts and armbands to hold my mp3 player. I don't like being all greasy and bug bitten.
I guess I should be stoked that I am a "runner" now but if one more person tells me about a runner's high.....
Seriously, jogging sucks.
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