Sign of the Impending Apocalypse #1:
This photograph was taken last night. August 19th at 11:01pm. You might notice that round knob on the right is turned in a rather odd position. It's turned towards the red color. Even though my car is a Honda and therefore made in Japan, where people sleep in pods and buy used panties in vending machines, red still means hot and blue means cold. So that means that last night, while driving to Walgreen's at 11:01pm to buy contact lens solution, I had to turn the knob that tells the magic man that lives in the air vents what temperature to make the air coming out to make mine a toasty one. In August. In Texas. As a side note, I like that all the engineering and progress in the world has not stopped the hazard button on a car from still looking like the "someone call Oingo Boingo and let's really get this party started" button. Shouldn't it be like a lighting bolt or an exclamation point or a thumb or something. I could really get behind the thumb button.
Sign of the Impending Apocalypse #2:
I really can't even try to write better headlines than this so let me just go ahead and steal and link:
Lynching Advocate Toby Keith: Obama Acts White To Win
followed by....
Toby Keith: Obama's 'Best Democratic Candidate We've Had Since Bill Clinton'
First off, does one order business cards with "lynching advocate" as your listed profession? Second, nope. Sorry, Tobester. You don't get a re-do. You don't get to Tardis it back and put a boot in the ass of all those xenophobic pro-Bush redneck comments you made. I'm sure Obama totally appreciates not only your support of his political party but also his campaign and his ability to "talk white" et al.
Maybe you and John Rich should go into an unwanted and bungled political endorsements side business....
Sign of the Impending Apocalypse #3:
Oh. Em. Gee. Times are getting rough. I guess that Britpop renaissance of the early Aughts didn't really pan out like some thought it would. But really, there's no reason that it should lead to this.
JOHNNY BORRELL FROM RAZORLIGHT IS NOW THE LEAD SUSPECT IN THE MADELAINE MCCANN DISAPPEARANCE?
Wow. Johnny Borrell. Singer of mediocre songs. Former boyfriend of Kirsten Dunst and that girl from Harry Potter. Friend of Mighty Boosh. Fashion Victim. And now potential kidnapper and pedophile. What a shame. And here I was thinking he was just a loudmouthed brat.
The good news is that the sketch artist seems to have caught him in mid-chuckle. Who doesn't love a good laugh? With the economy like it is now, even child abductors need to have a giggle every now and again. I have to say that minus the whole "stealing kids" part, I prefer Johnny Borrell Mach 2.0 (pictured left in sketch) who seems much more lighthearted. You know, as opposed to the Johnny Borrell of old (pictured right giving us Blue Steel). Thoughts?
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