1. JJ Barea - From D-League special kid to 25 points against the Kings. Nice. This is usually the part where I would make some joke about an offbeat interest of yours or some zany quote you gave in an interview. But my limited internet research yielded absolutely nothing even remotely interesting about you other than the fact that you are from Puerto Rico. Bueno!
2. Jason Terry - Obviously.
3. Jason "TOLD YOU" Witten - The people who usually watch Cowboys games with me have noticed a trend. Let's say I was Wade Phillips or Jason Garrett and I was trying to figure out what plays I wanted to call. I would be bad at this because my answer for everything is "pass it to Jason Witten" no matter what the situation is. And I think that opposing teams would probably not have to watch too much film to figure out that covering Jason Witten would cripple my entire offense and lead to many interceptions. Then when Jerry Jones told me I needed to come up with ANY play that doesn't consist of throwing the ball to Witten and I meekly squeak out the phrase "quarterback sneak?" and then I would lose my job and Jerry would have security escort me to clean out my desk. And I tend to shove half eaten snack bags of peanuts into desk drawers so there would probably be ants and Jerry would have to get someone to come in and spray for ants and then dock that from my final check. So I guess I'm glad they don't always listen to my suggestions that I tell to the TV. But seriously, I say "pass it to Jason Witten" more often than I say the phrase "wait, wait for it......wait for the snap....not again, Flozell!" which is often.
4. Stella McCartney - Her new jewelry line features a necklace with a single dangling leg pendant. Linda McCartney is cackling from Vegetarian Heaven right now.
5. Adrian Peterson - He's pretty good. If he were a Cowboy, I might even re-think my strict "pass to Jason Witten" policy.
6. TV and movie writers - Admittedly, I'm having a hard time sympathizing with the $200,000 average annual salary angle being used. And when I say "hard time sympathizing" what I actually mean is "using Google Earth to find the easiest point of entrance into the residence of whomever gets paid that kind of money to write things like Everybody Love Raymond." That being said, they are right. Overpaid and hack-ish (that's aimed at whoever wrote any word ever spoken on Will and Grace), but correct to demand royalties on new media views.
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