Ryan Kesler Is a Gold Medal Baby Maker

If winning NHL hockey games wasn't enough excitement for one weekend, Ryan Kesler went out last night and had a child. According to Ben Kuzma (as well as hospital records and eyewitness accounts, I would imagine), Kes's wife Andrea gave birth to a bouncing baby boy at 2:30am this morning. That's right. While you were dreaming about falling, the Keslers were producing miracles at BC Women's Hospital. Kind of makes you realize what a waste of time sleep is, huh?

And, of course, because athletes have it exceptionally easy and there are no inherent difficulties whatsoever in their lifestyle, Kesler got to spend a whole eight hours with his wife and newborn son before hopping on a plane to St. Louis. Congratulations on your kid, Ryan. Now go get slashed repeatedly in the calves by David Backes.

Ryker immediately becomes my second favourite Ryker, after this one, and since I ain't no Trekkie, he could be my favourite when all is said and done. Ryker is the Keslers' second child, after daughter Makayla (pictured above), and I'm beginning to see a Kardashian-like trend emerging with the K-based naming practices. I would imagine there are few other things the Keslers want their children to have in common with the Kardashian women, save fabulous wealth and muscular thighs.

Kesler's production is at an all-time high. In the last eight days, he's got 3 goals, 2 assists, and 1 baby. We at PITB send our congratulations to Ryan and his family, and officially welcome Ryker Kesler to the world.