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Thursday, April 3, 2008

A fine return to form



Yes, in case you were wondering, we have reached the point where when the Mavs win two games in a row against teams like the Los Angeles Clippers and Golden State Warriors we are ecstatic. The Clippers victory was still a little shameful considering that.....oh wait. I was going to explain the weaker points of the Los Angeles Clippers but then I realized that I already typed "Los Angeles Clippers" so I don't really need to go into any more detail.

But while the Golden State Warriors are a 9th place cellar dweller, the mental balm that is a win over them is good enough for me to be motivated to write about on this recently-neglected (or at least highly apathetic when it comes to anything involving the Mavs) blog. And for the first time in recent memory, the hustle and bustle of the first half was not completely negated by the Mavs curling up in a ball and waving a white flag for no apparent reason in the second half.

As for how a person can suffer a high ankle AND knee sprain and return to playing after a little more than a week, I have a simple answer. Witchcraft. Wicca. Santeria. We all know that it's not humanly possible to do such a thing by merely working out, doing physical therapy and applying endless ice packs. Therefore, I am forced to out Dirk as some kind of terrifyingly awesome sorcerer or wizard or spoon-bending mentalist. Which is kind of rad. Essentially we have the Uri Geller of basketball on our team. San Antonio can keep their Mr. Longorias and Manu "Chef Boyardee" Ginobli. Seriously though, didn't it take T.O. at least two weeks to get back in good enough shape to play again last season after his high ankle sprain? My ipod battery is on its' last leg and tends to die after an hour of use. If anyone can figure out a way to get Dirk to lay hands on it, please email me at:
dirkpleasehealmyipodlikeyouhealedyourcrazylegs@nba.edu
. Thanks.

The Mavs are essentially, at this point, like a really bad boyfriend. They are the Dennis the Beeper King of basketball. If you don't watch 30 Rock, you should probably stop reading now since we can never be friends. I guess they are trying. And sometimes they deliver me the metaphorical cheeseburger at work that keeps me wanting them around. But then they do things like blow double digit leads in under two minutes which makes me think I should slyly start separating our stuff and change my myspace profile's relationship status. But if they can keep playing like they did last night (sorry, there wasn't a font big or bold enough to stress that "if" sufficiently), consider me "In a Relationship." I would have made a far more hip Facebook reference there but quite frankly, Facebook gives me finger cancer just by logging on. No, I do not want to find out which Olsen I am. If anything, I am the Olsen that is a foot taller than my twin and doesn't much care for Facebook.

So, you know, go Mavs. Or something.

PS - I will reinstate my previous promise to get a MFFL tattoo somewhere prominent if the Mavs beat the Lakers tomorrow. *

* I won't.

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